


August Falls, September Follows

by BarqueBatch



Series: Continuum [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Gen, M/M, Overprotective Steve Rogers, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Steve Rogers, Pissed off Bucky, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Shit Hits The Fan, Steve gives good apology, Subtle Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 03:10:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6735685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarqueBatch/pseuds/BarqueBatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve crosses a serious line, and Bucky loses his chill. Steve just hopes Bucky can forgive him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	August Falls, September Follows

**Author's Note:**

> This little blow up piece was instigated by that damn August Man photoshoot. If you don't know what I'm on about, the gifs in question are [HERE.](http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/143703333314/sbstianstan-sebastian-stan-for-august-man)
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As Bucky drew closer to Fury’s office, he heard raised voices. He sighed and picked up his pace when he realized it was Steve in full-blown tantrum mode. It didn’t surprise him; Steve and Fury had been butting heads a lot more since Steve found out about Fury sending Bucky out on solo missions. Bucky might not have helped matters when Steve had asked about the nature of the missions.

“Classified,” he’d answered softly in his well-perfected monotone delivery.

Steve had hit the roof.

Bucky had often thought of sixteen-year-old Steve as a cranky, moody whip of a kid, but in truth, that kid had nothing on Steve present day. The serum had multiplied everything inside Steve, including his short fuse and prickly demeanor. He had a better handle on it now, but… some shit could epically set him off in the flash of a second. Bucky knew Steve’s physical tells as if they were his first language. Most people didn’t, so when Steve’s temper blew, it tended to leave the poor bastards wondering what the hell hit them.

Then you had people like Fury who knew Steve’s important tells, but gave zero fucks about them.

So apparently it was _that_ kind of day.

He was about to barge into Fury’s office when Bucky heard his name being spat out almost like a swear. 

Wouldn’t be the first time.

He hung back, wanting to know what he was about to walk into.

“James Barnes doesn’t need you coddling him, Rogers,” Fury snapped, already sounding weary of the discussion. Bucky couldn’t exactly blame him; Steve could be exhausting when he dug his heels in.

“I’m not coddling him. You don’t need to be sending him on these missions! He’s done enough! Cancel it,” Steve ordered, and the effect was immediate in Fury’s voice.

“I’m not cancelling shit! He’s an effective agent, and I will use him as I see fit!”

“That exactly it,” Steve growled. “You’re using him to do bullshit missions that other agents can do. There is no reason to send Bucky on these jobs unless they’re dirty, and it needs to stop. I won’t stand by and allow you to guilt him into doing these missions for you.”

“If Barnes doesn’t want to do them, he can turn them down at any time, Rogers.”

“But he won’t because he still feels like he needs to atone for his past,” Steve barked, slamming his hand down upon Fury’s desk.

“You’re gonna get that fixed,” Fury grunted, unfazed by Steve’s outburst. His eyes registered Bucky silently entering the office, but he said nothing. His eyes flicked back to Steve too quickly to give anything away.

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your desk,” Steve hissed, leaning forward slightly to intimidate a man that would never fall prey to that kind of mind game.

“And I don’t care about your need to micromanage Barnes’ mission assignments. Until he comes in here and tells me that you’re now his mission mama, get out of my office.”

“And that’s not gonna happen.” Bucky stated his position quietly, but firmly, and saw the instant tension form in Steve’s shoulders. He slowly turned around to face Bucky, and some of the enraged color drained from his cheeks.

“Buck-”

“The fuck are you doing, Steve?” He was so angry right now that he could actually sock Steve. It was why he was keeping his distance and staying by the door. If Steve got too close to him right now, it would probably get ugly, and Bucky didn’t want that in Fury’s office.

“Bucky, I-”

“No, ya know what? I don’t wanna hear it,” he muttered, wincing as the soft buzz of rage swelled inside his head. “You know what it means for me to call the shots on my own life, an’ you’re in here tryin’ to override that.”

“No, I’m not-”

“Shut up.”

“Bucky!”

“I said shut up,” Bucky snapped, though his voice was still lowered. “You need to listen. You do not cut me off at the pass like this, do you hear me? You don’t come in here and make demands on my behalf unless I tell you to… which I won’t, Steve. My battles to fight are my own. My choices are my own. If I take a mission Fury gives me, that’s my call. Not yours.”

“You don’t have to take dirty missions,” Steve tried to plead with him. “He’s playing on the guilt you carry-”

“It doesn’t matter!” Bucky roared back at him, completely losing his chill in a way he hadn’t wanted to. He really didn’t want to hear Steve right now. He was angry and, frankly hurt that Steve would do this to him after everything he’d done to take back his life.

“It doesn’t matter whether you think my ledger is clean, Steve,” he yelled in frustration. “It only matters what I think! It’s none of your fucking business why I make the decisions I do in this room! If Fury puts a mission on the table, and I think I’m the best agent to do the job, I’ll do it.”

“I’m just trying to keep you from being taken advantage of,” Steve replied weakly, his eyes reflecting his own hurt feelings. Bucky was too far gone at the moment for it to affect him though.

“I’m not five. I’m well aware of what games get played in this place and who plays them. I don’t need you to parse that out for me.” Bucky’s volume continued to rise, and he realized it was going to get ugly anyway. 

“I don’t run off half-cocked like you do, Steve. I know exactly what I can do. I am intimately, _painfully_ aware of what I am capable of. More than you will _ever_ be. I see more than you do! I read people better than you do! I don’t need you to babysit me!”

Going by the look on Steve’s face, Bucky may as well have just punched him. There was so much lingering in the air between them that they just stared at each other until Fury spoke.

“You done, Barnes? If so, take Super Pissy Boy home and get him outta my face.”

“The fuck makes you think I want ‘im in _my_ face?” Bucky snarled, his eyes still locked on Steve’s. His best friend flinched at the words, but Bucky just spun on his heel. “He’s a big boy now. He can find his own way home. I’m fuckin’ done.”

He half expected Steve to call out to him as he stormed out of Fury’s office, but it didn’t happen. He had decidedly mixed emotions about that, but he’d just thrown his own epic temper tantrum, and he knew he needed to stand by it if he was going to get Steve to see reason.

_______________________________________

A cold chill ran along Steve’s spine and settled into his gut. He hadn’t seen Bucky this mad in a long time, and even then, it hadn’t been directed at him. Steve knew he’d be lucky if he didn’t get back home to find Bucky packing. He needed to get home to talk Bucky out of following through, but the thought of it practically paralyzed him. He didn’t trust himself to even walk just yet.

“Thanks for warning me he was there,” he bit out, not bothering to turn back to face Fury. He heard the soft creak of Fury’s chair, the sound telling him the director had leaned back in that put upon way he favored.

“You're welcome. You needed to walk into that one full speed.”

Steve nodded his head slowly. Maybe he did, but he resented that Fury was the one to open the door for it to happen.

“If I find out that you’ve pushed him in any way to take these assignments… I’ll walk.”

“Duly noted.” Steve could hear the smirk in Fury’s answer without looking at him. “Run along, Rogers. They don’t pay me to be a marriage counselor.”

Steve’s anger puffed up dangerously within his chest, but before he could do anything stupid, he let the emotion propel him quickly through Fury’s door.

He needed to get home.

___________________________________________

It was an hour later when Steve slowly walked back toward their apartment. He’d come straight home. Bucky’s things were thankfully still present, but his best friend was not, and neither was his motorcycle. Steve had left his bike parked in the garage, and had gone for a walk, but not before leaving a brief, pleading note.

The early fall air was good for clearing his head as he aimlessly walked their neighborhood. He half hoped that Bucky was just out doing the same, that they’d bump into one another and Steve could apologize profusely. The other half of him was terrified of what kind of mood Bucky might still be in if they did happen upon each other. Steve made two loops back to their apartment before he decided that coming home empty handed wasn’t in his best interests.

Bucky was right. Steve was good at planning for a team, but when it came to just himself, he tended to rush in with no real plan. He relied upon his wits and agility to help him improvise his way through, and he knew that gave Bucky massive heartburn and headaches.

He had no business trying to judge or oversee Bucky’s decisions. He could tell himself it was just trying to protect Bucky, but Bucky was past needing that kind of hovering from Steve. He was a man that damn near knew every way in the book to be lethal, and he was so, so clever. He did pick up more subtle things in passing than Steve did, though he didn’t have the same photographic memory. Bucky took in details with calculated, sweeping stares. Steve had to actively look at individual things to lock them into place. Together they were frighteningly good and making maps and layout drawings, being nearly seamless in what they could jointly recall.

Bucky was not helpless. He didn’t get confused the way he used to, and he had great coping skills in the event that he did have a setback. Steve needed to let go of the worst of his worry, but he didn’t know how to do that. He could never give up worrying about Bucky entirely, but there had to be a healthy compromise they could find together. The alternative was risking that he’d drive Bucky away.

The idea of it clenched Steve’s stomach enough to make him feel ill.

He was in luck. The bakery he’d walked to had Bucky’s favorite cake available. Normally the exotic dessert needed to be ordered, but Steve chose to believe that fate was smiling down upon him when Lisa and Wendy immediately assumed he’d want to take it home. The girls cooed their hellos for him to pass along to Bucky as he dished out the money and a tip. When he glanced into the bag on the walk home, he smiled. There was a small tub of extra lychee-dragonfruit frosting for the spiced chocolate cake. It was a perk of Bucky learning to be a shameless, flirty sweetheart to the girls. Not one iota of that frosting would ever touch the cake. Instead, it would be cradled in Bucky’s hands and scooped directly into his sugar-addicted mouth while they watched Game of Thrones. 

It was on tonight. Steve prayed Bucky would come home so they could work through this. He wanted to curl up on the couch and write this day off as quickly as humanly possible.

Steve was about to walk into their apartment building when he felt that little tingle at the back of his neck. He instinctively looked up to the fire escape. Bucky was there, just shy of the first landing with those glacial eyes already trained upon him.

He still looked fairly pissed, but at least calmer and more open with the way he was reclined back on his left arm. His eyes were slightly narrowed, and his brows mildly furrowed, but he seemed ready to hear Steve out..

True to form, Bucky said nothing as Steve walked over to stand at the base of the stairs. Of course he’d picked high ground. Bucky was going to make him work for it. That was fine. Steve was just relieved to see him. He’d take any lectures Bucky wanted to dish out, and already had his mea culpa carefully constructed in his head

“I’m an idiot… and a big fucking jerk,” Steve apologized, his chest hurting with his sincerity. Bucky didn’t respond. Usually he was quick to agree, so the extra silence was new and made Steve a little more nervous.

“When I found out Fury was sending you on those missions alone… I went in to find out what they were. The fact that you wouldn’t tell me just… We confide in each other so much that it scared me that you wouldn’t tell me something that important. I mean… What if you go and something goes wrong? Fury might not tell me, and I wouldn’t be able to come after you as quickly. The thought of breaking Nick’s fingers one-by-one until he tells me isn’t really all that appealing, ya know?”

Bucky still didn’t speak, but a hint of amusement did cross his face. Almost a smile, but he quickly pulled it back into something more reserved. Steve knew that look though. Bucky was trying to stay mad to prove a point. Honestly, he already had. Steve would gladly smack himself in the face with the chocolate cake to get Bucky to laugh, except that would be akin to sacrilege to Bucky. 

You did not want to inhibit Bucky’s sweet tooth. Men had been seriously fucked up by Bucky over far less.

“Buck…” Steve looked down at the pavement as he went for a more serious approach, “I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right; I had no right to go behind your back like that. It’s not my call. I know that… I’ve always known that. It’s just that… I just got you back, ya know? You’re my best friend, Bucky. I came home terrified that you were pissed enough to leave-”

“Maybe I should.” Bucky’s words were quiet, and not said in anger. More like resignation. “Maybe we’re in each other’s faces too much now-”

“Please… Please don’t.” Steve almost hiccupped as he said it, his breath catching painfully in his throat.

“We’re not the same as when we were kids, Steve.”

“I know that. I don’t know how many times I gotta tell you,” he sighed. “I don’t need you to be that guy, Bucky. I just need you to be you… and in the meantime, I’ve still got a learning curve when it comes to watching out for you.”

“Don’t gotta watch out for me,” Bucky frowned, and Steve nearly tripped over himself to clarify.

“Of course I do,” he smiled. “You gonna stop watchin’ out for me?”

“Pfft,” Bucky snorted. “You’d get yourself fucked up in no time…” He trailed off as his face clouded over. He blinked hard a few times, then looked down the line of the street.

“Look… about what I said in Fury’s office, Steve-”

“You were right-”

“No, I wasn’t,” Bucky quickly continued. “I mean, some of it, yeah, but… I wasn’t tryin’ to say I was better than you.”

“You are in a lot of ways, Bucky.”

“Can ya let me finish?” Bucky raised his brows, almost slipping back into irritation. Steve gave him a sheepish nod, so he continued.

“You can be reckless and impulsive… but you’re the best man I know. You’re a helluva fighter, and I’m never worried when your back’s to mine out there.” He scanned the buildings around them, searching for words again. “I didn’t need to say what I said, especially not the way I said it. ‘Specially not in front of Fury.”

“You were angry,” Steve shrugged. “You had a right to be pissed. I fucked up big time. I can own up to that… I’m sorry.”

“You said that already,” Bucky smirked. “Once is enough.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Steve added. Bucky still seemed indecisive about that though, and it brought panic back to Steve’s chest.

“Seriously, Buck… who am I gonna watch Game of Thrones with?”

“I can live somewhere else and still come over to watch that with you,” Bucky sighed. “There was a me and you before there was us-”

“Nothing that counted,” Steve scoffed. “Anything before puberty doesn’t count at all.”

“Speak for yourself, punk,” Bucky retorted indignantly. “My voice was startin’ to change when I met you.” Those blue eyes pierced into his for a long moment. “God, Stevie… don’t you want your own life? You can’t tell me you’d have any trouble getting girls now… Fuck… Don’t you wanna get laid once in a while instead of playin’ nursemaid to me?”

“Bucky…” Steve shook his head as he shoved his free hand into his coat pocket. “That’s not even on my radar right now-”

“Why the hell not?”

“I’m busy! Not playing nursemaid either! I’m busy with work, and...Jesus, Bucky. I thought you died. You’re my family and I thought I’d lost you. You an’ Peggy were the only ties I had to my old life. You’re it now. I want to be here, and I want you here too. I know it’s selfish but-”

“You don’t have a selfish bone in your body, Rogers,” Bucky muttered, pushing his hands into his own pockets. “Proud and stubborn… but not selfish.”

“I’m very selfish when it comes to you,” Steve frowned as an awful, hateful thought came to him.

“Buck…? Do you _want_ to leave?”

Bucky stayed silent as he licked at his lip and considered his answer. 

“I want you to have a life outside of my issues,” he finally whispered.

Steve outright laughed. Bucky looked outright offended.

“Asshole,” he growled.

 

“Which issues are we talking about?” Steve chuckled. “Your snoring is pretty loud.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bucky snapped, but there was no real bite to it. “You leave your dirty fuckin’ dishes in the sink all the time.”

“But I make you coffee in the mornings… and ply you with blackberry danishes.”

Bucky gave him an assessing look. “There is that,” he allowed.

“Also…?” Steve held the bag slightly aloft, privately thinking he should get it back into the refrigerator, but also thinking it wouldn’t make it that far before it was inhaled.

“I randomly bring you cake.”

“Is that…from 9900? With the lychee-dragonfruit icing…?” Bucky’s eyes widened almost comically. Steve knew he had to be really pissed to have not even paid attention to where the bag was from.

“Would I bring you anything less to make up for being a dick?”

“Dunno,” Bucky sighed dramatically, his eyes still fixated on the bag. “You were a huge bag of dicks, Rogers. You should have gotten two of ‘em.”

“If they’d had ‘em, I would’ve,” Steve promised. “Think you can live with vanilla bean creme brulee for the time being?”

Leaning forward, Bucky made grabby hands for the bag. Steve pulled it out of the way and leaned forward slightly. His expression grew seriously heartfelt as he turned pleading eyes upon Bucky.

“Say you’ll stay, Buck.”

“Oh that’s just dirty pool,” Bucky scowled, but his gaze had lost its hard edges. Still, he propped himself forward onto one elbow and gave Steve an earnest warning.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, Steve. I mean it. I love you dearly, but if that happens again, I’m gone. There won’t be a discussion.”

“Understood,” Steve replied just as earnestly. “I might still fuck up sometimes, Bucky… but not like that. I promise you.”

“Didn’t ask for a promise,” he grunted and smiled.

“Getting one anyway,” Steve shrugged. “I just want to do right by you. I just want you here. If the time comes that you want to leave… if you feel like you have to… I’ll respect it, but please don’t leave over this.”

“Relax,” Bucky drawled scrubbing his hand over his face. “Not goin’ anywhere… but I still think ya need to get laid.”

“Jesus, Bucky-”

“Just sayin’ punk,” he chimed innocently.

“Well stop sayin,” Steve groaned. “I don’t wanna talk about my love life.”

“Because there isn’t one!”

“Bucky!”

He got another long, calculating look of curiosity before Bucky shifted his weight to his right and leaned forward.

“Hey Stevie…?”

“What?”

“Would ya really break all of Fury’s fingers for me?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Bucky dissolved into delighted giggles, and the truth was, Steve would break a lot more just to keep that smile on Bucky’s face, and to hear that laughter every day.

And look at that; they’d worked it all out just in time for Game of Thrones with a side of intense sugar coma...


End file.
